We're Telling Them
by apriiil
Summary: In which Lucy has a few things she's been keeping to herself for a while, and honestly, she really needed to get them out on her own terms. You know, before the guild figured it out on their own. Two-shot. [Happy Wife, Happy Life - see chapter one]
1. A Few Secrets

**Ah, so... yeah, I'm procrastinating again. Just a bit of fun, really. Plus, I couldn't help myself.**

 **Sorry not sorry.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

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 **Update: So I have decided that I will be continuing with this universe. Just short one-shots here and there for when I get the inspiration and I can't be bothered doing my university assignments. All one-shots in this universe will be marked as being part of the 'Happy Wife, Happy Life' universe, so in a way, this two-shot can be seen as the opening for it.  
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There were a few things that Lucy Heartfilia had been hiding from the guild for the last year and a half. Important things. Very important things.

And honestly, it was time to fill them in. After all, they were her friends and family. Besides, she only really had a couple of months or so before they started asking questions and well, it was probably going to be a hell of a lot worse if they all found out that way. At least if she told them herself, then she could do it on her own terms and her psychotic guild mates wouldn't jump to all of the wrong conclusions, because let's face it, they were going to.

But, it wasn't like they wouldn't have a reason to either. Hell, if she were in someone else's shoes and she'd just found out about what it was she had to say, then she'd probably want to go on a bit of a rampage.

Or she'd probably just stare at a wall for a few minutes. Or hours.

The only problem she faced was actually finding the courage to do so, not to mention actually saying the damn words. That was going to be difficult.

Lucy realised that there was probably never going to be a right time or a right way to go about telling the guild that she was married to none other than Bickslow. Oh, yeah, and she was pregnant, which kind of made the whole deadline thing a problem since she was already showing as it was – only just. She'd had to change the majority of her wardrobe just because her crop tops and tight tank tops were really not working out in her favour.

But seriously, how the hell was she supposed to explain the fact that she'd been dating Bickslow in the first place? Because really, the only two people in the entire world who knew about it were herself and Bickslow. Well, and her spirits. And his babies.

 _'Oh, yeah… you know, we were dating for like a year and then we were like, 'fuck it, let's get married,' and that was six months ago.'_

Because that was totally going to go down well, especially when she had a best friend that could quite literally breathe fire, another that was a little too sword-happy, and another that would probably turn her husband into a human ice cube. Hey, at least she had Wendy. The young Dragon Slayer would totally heal Bickslow if he got too hurt… right? Right?!

Eh, probably not.

Best case scenario was that her team – and guild – somehow avoided having a heart attack at the whole 'being married' news, and then she'd be able to break the next part to them.

 _'…I'm also three months pregnant.'_

Yeah, Lucy was pretty sure her team – and half of the guild – would probably drop dead at that point. Hell, she was pretty sure she had when Bickslow had told her she was pregnant – something that had simultaneously scared the living shit out of the guy when she quite literally fell to the floor and had entertained him so much it made him fall to floor himself. The only difference was that Lucy was in shock and Bickslow was cackling at her reaction.

Apparently Bickslow had known for a few weeks before he told her. He'd wanted to make sure that what he'd seen was actually the thing's soul and not just his eyes playing tricks on him. After all, he'd usually checked when she was asleep (since it was really the only time he could get away with using his magic and not get a million questions as to why he was using his magic on her) and he was half asleep himself so it was entirely possible it was just his imagination.

But it wasn't, of course.

So even though there was the whole guild reaction being a problem, Lucy realised that there were some good things to come out of letting them know. One being that she could finally wear the goddamn ring that was just teasing her every time she opened her jewellery box, and two being that she could finally move in with her husband.

Well, that was assuming he made it out of the guild alive, and it was entirely possible he wouldn't. You know, fire-breathing, sword-happy, and ice-cube-making best friends.

Oh, and not to mention Bickslow's team. Evergreen was probably going to turn him to stone for keeping such a huge secret from her, and Laxus, well… no one was too sure what Laxus would do. Freed would most likely stay out of it, and thank god for that because according to Bickslow, the guy was 'really fucking terrifying sometimes.' According to Bickslow.

Mira was probably going to faint, Cana was most likely going to choke on whatever it was she was drinking that day, Juvia was most likely still going to think Lucy was trying to steal her beloved Gray from her, and Levy was probably going to throw a book at Gajeel, and he'd probably sit there and take it, just because he loved the girl. Not that he'd ever say it, no. Never.

So basically, no one in the guild was going to take it well, and that was something that she and Bickslow could actually agree on. There were multiple things they couldn't and would never agree on, but the likelihood that he'd quite possibly end up dying should the guild ever find out was one thing they would agree on.

They had an odd relationship like that. They were like polar opposites. He was loud, she was quiet. He was tall, she was short. He was an idiot, she was smart – but that was something that was debatable, honestly. Bickslow was actually smart, he just did stupid things. Lucy, though, she was smart, and she didn't do stupid things. The list could go on and on. Probably forever. But for whatever reason, the two of them seemed to work.

Lucy would be lying if she said she wasn't hopelessly and irrevocably in love with the guild's resident Seith mage and pervert. Which, as it turns out, was something she did lie about, quite often. Especially when Mira and Cana would ask if her she'd managed to get a boyfriend yet.

 _'No, no boyfriend. But I did get married over the weekend.'_

Yeah, she couldn't say that. It was just easier to let them believe she was single and not ready to mingle – ever.

But really, they needed to tell the guild. Soon. Hell, she kinda wanted to.

 _Fuck it_ , she thought. _Let's do it._

With a quiet sigh, she turned her head over her shoulder slightly, just enough to see the blue-and-black haired man laying behind her, his head resting on his pillow as his arm draped over her side, his hand resting on the barely visible bump.

"Bicks." She whispered.

He grunted in response, pressing his face into the pillow more as he instinctively pulled her closer to him. What could he say? The rare moments he got to actually sleep in the same bed as his wife were ones he cherished and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to make the most of them, and that meant holding her as close as possible before either of them had to go back to pretending that they weren't together.

"Bickslow," She said, a little louder with a small smile on her face. He'd never been a morning person and honestly, she was going to enjoy watching him suffer through several months of going without sleep once their baby was born. Well, she'd enjoyed the _thought_ of it until she remembered that she wasn't going to be getting any sleep either. "We're going to tell them. Today."

An eye shot open suddenly. "Eh?'

"You heard me."

"Debatable. It's early." Bickslow mumbled.

She scoffed slightly, "Well, I'll say it again then. We're telling them. Today."

"Still early." Because really, even though they'd talked about it many, many times, he still wasn't exactly prepared for what would happen once everyone found out. It was almost as scary as him being a dad, but, he still had another six months to get his head around that. He'd be fine. He hoped.

And Lucy wasn't all that surprised he'd attempt to put them telling everyone off, and it wasn't like he didn't have a good reason to feel that way. Hell, if she was worried about what the guild – her team in particular – would do _to_ him, then he had even more of a reason to be terrified.

It was Bickslow's turn to sigh. He loved his wife, a lot, but he'd never really loved the fact that she'd always end up winning in an argument. Hell, it wasn't even an argument, but you get the point.

"Tell me when you want to go to the guild so I can start packing." He mumbled.

"What the hell for?"

"For when I run in the opposite direction."

Not that he'd actually do that, of course. He just really enjoyed annoying her.

With a roll of her eyes, Lucy shifted, curling herself into his warm chest even more and then closing her eyes. It really was early, so she could go back to sleep for a few more hours. Maybe.

She knew Bickslow wouldn't actually run. Well, it was more of a case that she really hoped he didn't. He'd be stupid to run, because honestly, he'd just be making it worse for himself to run. He wasn't _that_ stupid. Nah, he was just trying to annoy her, and she was okay with that. It was just part of what they did.

"I hate you, Bicks." She murmured with a small smile, feeling his hand rub small circles over her belly.

Saying 'I hate you' rather than 'I love you' sometimes was just a thing they did. They didn't know when it had started (though she assumed it was when Bickslow had done some incredibly frustrating and made her actually want to hate the guy, you know, if she had the cabability to), but neither worried to much, because they both knew they loved each other, and that was what mattered.

"Love you too, Cosplayer."


	2. Time To Let Them Know

**Okay so, I decided to make this a two-shot. No more chapters will be added to this, HOWEVER, I am considering writing more one-shots set in the same 'universe' if you get what I mean.**

 **I mean, only if you guys would read it. If not, I probably won't, lol.**

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"Okay, so what's the game plan again?" Bickslow mumbled, absentmindedly twisting the ring on his finger as they walked down the sunny streets of Magnolia towards the guild.

Not only was it basically the first time they'd actually walked to the guild together – hell, walked anywhere together – but it was the first time Bickslow wore the wedding band as an actual ring. Most of the time, he kept it on a chain around his neck that he could hide under his heavy clothing. Surprisingly, his team never asked him why he had a chain with a ring on it around his neck on all the times they'd gone on jobs and stayed in inns overnight over the last six months.

But for real, they needed a game plan. For how they told everyone. Because if they just blurted it out to everyone at once, then the guild was probably going to implode. Or explode. There was going to an explosion of some sort and all hell was going to break loose. They needed to take a logical and systematic approach, not only to protect him – because let's face it, he wanted to be a dad and have the kid, and if he did die, Lucy was probably going to go on a rampage for leaving her a single mother – but to protect the baby too. And that was what was really important. At that point, it was a miracle she hadn't gotten herself hurt in the jobs that she hadn't been able to get herself out of. A fucking miracle.

"Um… our teams first, and then if no one dies, the guild…" She mumbled, also twisting the ring on her finger. Honestly, it was a beautiful ring – silver with diamonds inlaid in the band. Six fucking months she'd had to stare at that thing in her jewellery box. Six. Fucking. Months. "Although, I'm thinking we should wait for our teams to calm down before we tell the guild… maybe give them another few weeks… or months…" She mused, trailing off.

"Baby, you know I love you," Bickslow said, wrapping an arm around her waist as they walked, "but you're going to be the size of a whale and you're gonna have a lot of explaining to do." _A very sexy whale, but a whale nonetheless._ Because really, in the next few months, Lucy was most definitely going to start showing more. There was no way she could pass it off as a time-accurate cosplay of sorts, and honestly, she'd hated that idea when Bickslow had brought it up once.

"I know," She sighed, then, narrowing her eyes as she looked up, "Wait, did you just call me a whale?"

"Uh… no. Definitely not…"

"You just called me a whale."

"Okay, fine, but… you'll be a sexy whale."

"There is nothing sexy about being a whale." Because really, there was no way she'd be even remotely close to sexy when she's waddling, can't even see her feet over her damn belly, and she's going to want to sleep all day. Which, is going to be uncomfortable as hell. Nope, nothing sexy about that. Bickslow is crazy – well, she already knew that.

He let out a short laugh, "Yeah, whatever. You'll be my sexy whale; deal with it."

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Bickslow finally managed to round up his entire team – plus Gajeel, although he couldn't find Levy so he assumed Lucy had found her. After all, the Dragon Slayer and Script mage were basically adopted members of their teams. Sort of. Not really, actually. They just hung around with their teams a lot. No one really cared anymore.

It had taken him a while to convince them to follow him outside (they'd both decided that should anyone go on a rampage, it would be better they do it outside), but he did it. He literally had to drag Evergreen away from the Man himself, almost get on his knees to beg Laxus, and Gajeel, well… Gajeel just wanted to know what it was he had to talk about. The guy liked to gossip. Freed, on the other hand – bless Freed for actually going without a single complaint.

So when he finally got them all outside by the pool, he moved to stand next to his wife who was sitting on one of the lounge chairs with her chin in her hands as his team got the silent memo to stand next to hers – _oh look, she found Levy!_

"What's this about?" Laxus asked, looking between the Celestial Spirit mage and the Seith mage.

"You might want to sit down." Bickslow said, signature grin in place.

So with a few questioning glances and raised eyebrows from the group, they all sat down. Bickslow was almost giddy. It was like he was a teacher and they were his students – all sitting cross-legged in front of them. For once, he was the all important leader instead of Laxus. Or Freed. Or Evergreen. Well, sort of.

 _Professor Bickslow… Nah, doesn't work. Professor B. though… yeah, that totally works._

But really, sitting down was probably going to save them a fall.

"What's going on? Lucy?" Erza asked the blonde, the worry on her face evident.

Lucy sighed, closing her eyes to prepare herself. There was really no turning back at that point. She just had to say it and hope no one had a heart attack.

"Uh, well… we figured it was about time to tell you some things…" She mumbled.

"' _We?'_ " Levy echoed.

"Yes. We. We've been together for the last year and a half, there abouts." She said, sitting up slightly and folding her hands in her lap.

"Is this a joke?"

"What the fuck?"

"Huh? What did she say?"

Bickslow could only face palm at Natsu's comment. Trust the guy to tune out at something like that.

But when he looked over each of their faces, his grin got wider and he couldn't help but chuckle. Each of them with faces showing nothing but confusion and honestly, a little bit of horror.

He was going to have fun with it. Well, he already was, despite the fact that he was worried about what their reactions would be once they got over the initial shock. But really, there were two more things that needed to be said and he knew Lucy was going to tip-toe around it.

That just wasn't going to work for Bickslow.

"Also married her, and, knocked her up." He said.

And just like that, Erza got up from the ground and went straight for Bickslow, just as Levy fainted, falling sideways into Gajeel's lap. But Bickslow had always had quick reflexes, and it was precisely why he had his babies hovering just behind him, so when Erza lunged for him, he could just step up onto them and fly away to safety. Well, at least out of her reach, anyway.

Lucy sighed again, resting her chin in her hands. Trust Bickslow to just blurt it out anyway ( _so much for a logical, systematic and carefully planned approach_ , she thought), and trust Erza to be the one to automatically want to maim the guy. Although, she did have to give Bickslow a little bit of credit. His word choice kinda sucked, but if he'd said it the other way around, then they'd all just assume they only got married because she got pregnant. And really, that wasn't the case since they'd already been married for a few months when they found out.

She could see all of their brains ticking over with the news, watching their facial expressions changing. Once Gray had got his head around it, he had to turn to explain it to Natsu in terms he'd understand because the guy still hadn't got it.

And with that, Natsu joined Erza in her shouting up at the cackling Seith mage high above them and well out of their reach. "Get the fuck down here, Bickslow!" He screeched.

"Nope!" Bickslow shouted back, only losing the grin when Happy picked up Natsu from the ground and flew up to his level. "Oh, fuck." He muttered, but before he could even get away, a lightning bolt had come down from the sky – Laxus' work, of course – and hit the Seith mage square on, and with a yelp, he fell straight down into the pool that was luckily below him, babies and all.

"YOU GOT FUCKING MARRIED?!" Evergreen screamed, swatting Bickslow with her fan when he came to the edge of the pool. "You got fucking married and you didn't tell anyone?!"

"Because you lot would freak out!" He shouted back, ducking slightly each time the fan came down.

"Guys, leave him alone. I kinda need the guy to stay alive." Lucy shouted over all of the yelling when she saw her own team 'lining up' to give the guy hell.

Erza's face went bright red as she turned to face the blonde again, ignoring the Seith mage for the time being. "But… but… you're… pregnant?" She whispered, staring incredulously.

Lucy nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Yup, three months, which is the main reason we had to tell you since I'm not going to be able to hide it for much longer."

"But… that means… you two…" The Requip mage mumbled, looking down as she touched her two pointer fingers together.

"Strangely enough," Bickslow said, rolling his eyes as he climbed out of the pool slowly, "married couples actually have sex!"

"Bickslow, shut up." Lucy said, storming over to the edge of the pool and shoving the Seith mage back in with a splash, ignoring his protests and complaints when he came back up to the surface.

So while the two teams still worked on wrapping their heads around the fact that not only had the two been dating, but they were actually married and having a baby, no one noticed Cana who had been sleeping in a bush not too far from a pool. But she'd woken up from the noise, and boy, was she glad she had.

So slowly, she crept along the side of the guild and back to the doors, making sure not to draw attention to herself and make them aware she was there. Her knuckles were white as she held onto the neck of the bottle, and when she got back into the safety of the guild, she stood there, also trying to wrap her head around what she'd heard.

But the guild needed to know about it, that was for sure. There was no way those two were going to keep that a secret.

"BICKSLOW AND LUCY ARE FUCKING MARRIED!" She shouted, the guild becoming oh so silent in just a matter of seconds. A few shrieks were heard in amongst the sound of bottles, mugs, and glasses hitting the ground or tables. Mira had squealed and fainted, of course. "AND HE KNOCKED HER UP!"

It was safe to say that when the group all came back into the guild a little while later – Bickslow dripping wet still – they didn't expect everyone to be staring at them with aghast looks and shooting a hundred-thousand questions at them.

Hell, they'd basically just answered all of them and now they had to do it again. They didn't even get a chance to think about how the guild had even found out.

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 **So again, no more chapters will be added to this one. I only wrote this one because each review asked for more. I hope it's okay.**

 **Again, if you'd like to see more one-shots from this universe, depicting the woes of this Bicks and Lucy/dealing with pregnancy/living together etc. then leave another review or leave me a message so I know whether to write them or not. :)**

 **Hope you've enjoyed this short little two-shot.**

 **\- April**


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